Problems with your relationship can be one of the most stressful things to deal with. Your home is your sanctuary and when there is trouble brewing, then you may start avoiding the one place you used to love coming home to. There are a number of things that can cause a strain in relationships – financial issues, past relationships, work-related complications, sexual (or lack thereof) tension, family and friend interferences and different life goals can all negatively impact a relationship.
Almost every couple has problems in their relationship at some point or another. The question is – should you work it out or call it quits? This will depend on a number of factors and will vary in every relationship. However, here are four things you need to try this month before calling it quits and giving up on the life that you have built together.
- Do Something to let him/her Know you Care – the little things make all the difference so this week, instead of going about your day avoiding the issues at home, think of ways you can help alleviate these stresses. Send a goofy text message; pick up some flowers on the way home; offer back rubs. These small gestures may put a smile on your partner’s face and help strengthen that breaking bond.
- Eat one Meal a Day Together – in almost all relationships, eating every meal together is impossible. You have work; you have prior commitments; you have a life. However, scheduling a sit down dinner every night is a great way to reconnect and recharge as a single unit. Discuss your day, share stories, comment on movies, admit your frustrations and feats – open your mouth and talk. Working late? Then get up early and have breakfast together.
- Plan a Mini Break – okay, so it is not reasonable to simply pack up for the month and take a second honeymoon to Paris but think about scheduling a night away this month. Go somewhere just the two of you and think nothing but romance. Red wine and chocolate covered strawberries in a hot tub perhaps? A luxurious spa package and horse carriage ride through Central Park maybe? Wake up after a blissful night together and enjoy a champagne breakfast on your private balcony. A mini break will not only allow you to recharge your individual batteries, but will strengthen your bond as a team and, with any luck, remind you of why you fell in love in the first place.
- Make a Date – it sounds so trivial but one of the main reasons relationships crumble is simply because they get too stale and your lives become too busy. If you are both constantly on the go and notice that the only time you are actually in the same room is either to fight, or to sleep, then it’s time to step away from this routine and make some time for good ol’ fashion date night. New York City is filled with beautiful places for the perfect ‘date’ night. Even a simple stroll around Union Square, an evening of romantic cocktails in Upper East Side or a Saturday spent shopping in Chelsea can help you build on your relationship. Have a few ground rules for date night. Topics that usually bring on fights are off-limits; there will be no cell phones or other interruptions; and, like all romantic date nights, your evening must end in the perfect kiss.
When Enough is Enough
In certain instances, there are simply no other avenues to turn to. If your relationship is coming to an end, then you most likely are feeling a whirlwind of emotions – extreme sadness, failure, anger, confusion, guilt. You might find waking up every morning to an empty bed completely depressing or finding a new apartment to live in completely overwhelming. You might feel a ball of rage in the pit of your stomach every time you think of your ex-partner or you might break down into a fit of tears at the thought of what you had, and what is now gone. You might be envious of other couples who walk hand in hand through Manhattan or you may feel bitter and resentful when hearing engagement announcements and seeing wedding photos in the New York Times. These are completely natural emotions to be experiencing after a particularly tough break up. However, if you are finding that these emotions are ruling your life and negatively impacting all aspects then it might be time seek professional assistance in overcoming these emotions.
A New York City relationship counselor can help you come to terms with the past and close the book on that aspect of your life. Sure, you will miss your partner and you will most likely always feel strongly towards him or her, but you also need to know that things happen for a reason and that there is life after the end of a relationship. Overcoming the emotional strains of a relationship will not happen overnight but talking about it with a trained counselor is one of the best steps you can make to moving on. A psychotherapist can help you overcome your sadness/hatred/guilt about a relationship ending and prove that a new life is actually just beginning.