Archive for the ‘Testimonials’ Category

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Manhattan Divorce Counseling: Advice in Battling the Emotional Roller Coaster of Divorce and Achieving Stability

You’ve read the statistics; you’ve heeded the warnings; you’ve seen the distress it can cause; but you never thought it would happen to you. When you signed the marriage certificate and said your vows you never thought divorce would be an option that you and your spouse would have to consider. But now it not only is an option- it is the only one that makes sense.

Divorce is not something anyone signs up for but it is sometimes the only thing left to do in a marriage. It’s important to remember that just because your marriage has failed does not mean it was a mistake in the first place. Marriage was part of a learning experience and a big part of your life. Even if the marriage ended in a complicated divorce, you will still have certain blissful memories of a time when everything was perfect.

Practical Matters of Divorce

There are certain steps you need to take when it comes to battling through divorce that must be done. First of all, you will need to contact a divorce lawyer to establish the legal and financial well-being of both parties. You will need to check over your finances and split up any items you share. This may include custody of the children, family support, division or property and division of assets.

You will also need to move out and, eventually, move on. Most divorce proceedings will have one partner moving out of the house. If this is you, then it’s time to start looking for a new house or a new NYC neighbourhood. You also need to move on with your single life as best as possible. Try to focus on the things you loved to do before the divorce- going to the gym, catching up with friends, seeing movies, hosting dinner parties. Do not let the divorce infect all areas of your life. Work to establish structure.

Of course, this is a lot easier said than done. Divorce can feel like your entire world has collapsed and leave you raw with several complex emotions. Your self esteem may suffer; you may feel like you have failed; you may be resentful and angry, especially when seeing happy couples on the New York City streets; you may look towards bad habits in order to help you overcome this pain. Instead of turning to a bottle of wine (or three or four), try these divorce counselling tips for moving on with your life after your marriage comes to an end.

Stability after Divorce

One of the best ways to achieve a level of stability after divorce is to rely on others for emotional support. Many people who are overcoming a divorce have a hard time letting go of the pain and frustration that comes along with it. Look to those around you to help you out. It might be best to avoid couple dinner parties and smug married couple friends during this tough time and instead turn to those who have gone through the same situation. Group support and even online forums may be able to provide you with some assistance. A divorce counselor can offer you professional help in battling your emotional pain. Sometimes the fastest way to forgive and move on is simply to talk it out. Your friends, your family and your Manhattan divorce counselor are all there to listen.

Another great way to get through your divorce is to focus on the ‘u’ instead of the ‘us.’ For years you have probably been part of the ‘we’ team and it can often be hard to get back into the individual mind frame. You don’t have to worry about sides of the bed or cooking without a certain food that your spouse hated. You don’t have to put up with bad movies because it’s not your turn to pick the movie. And, you don’t have to spend those Saturday evenings at your in-laws for dinner anymore. Instead, you are free to focus on you, you and more you!

So what do you want to do?

This can actually be a hard question to answer, especially when your mind is so used to doing things as a team. Try to think back to the things you loved before you got married and write a list of all the things you’ve wanted to do but never had the time for. You can now rearrange your schedule so that you are kept busy with things that make you happy. Perhaps you could redecorate your apartment or join a gym. Perhaps you can now take that cooking class, that pottery class or that vacation to Mexico with your friends. Or, perhaps you can simply enjoy a casual walk around your neighborhood or glass of wine with friends after a long day of work without worrying about the looming fight awaiting you at home.

When a marriage ends, regardless of the length of the marriage or the outcome of the divorce, it can leave your physically, mentally and emotionally drained. However, with the right counseling, support groups and inner strength, you will be ready to tackle your divorce and move ahead with your life with civility, grace and acceptance and an open mind.

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

Beyond Freud – What is Means to be a Psychotherapist and Where to Find the Best Psychotherapists New York

There is no denying that Sigmund Freud is one of the most well known names in psychotherapy. He has coined several terms that have made it into the common vernacular including the “Oedipus complex”, the “ego” and the “collective unconscious.” However, psychotherapy has roots that go past Freud and beyond. In fact, psychotherapy, also known as the ‘talking cure’ is one of the best ways to overcome your problems and talk your way to a solution, especially in the fast paced world of today.

Understanding the 21st Century of Psychotherapy in New York

Let’s start with the basics- what exactly, is psychotherapy and how can a NYC psychotherapist help with your problems? A psychotherapist is a trained professional who interacts with patients to help them overcome certain problems. It is through psychotherapy that a patient is able to change their thoughts, feelings and behaviors to project a positive outlook on their life and their situation. Every psychotherapy session is different and all psychotherapists have a different approach to helping their patients. While some prefer to provide individual treatments, others will offer group sessions. While some prefer the office environment, others will choose a more natural location.

Psychotherapy will look into your problems through your words. Talking is one of the most natural and expressive forms of communication and thus it makes sense to use this as the base of psychotherapy. However, talking one on one is not the only method of psychotherapy in New York. Biofeedback, interactive group therapy, meditation, relaxation training, self-help groups, psychodynamic therapy and behavioral therapy are all forms of psychotherapy as well. Today’s world has moved beyond the basic in psychotherapy, away from the Freudian concepts and off the mundane couch.

So before you prep your mind for an hour on the couch, make sure you are actually getting the most effective treatment from your psychotherapy session.

The Best Psychotherapist New York

New Yorkers know how many options there are out there these days. Even a simple task like going to a movie requires several decisions – which theatre, which movie, which movie treat, which drink. When it comes to choosing the best psychotherapist in New York, you are also faced with a lot of options. In the end, the choice is completely up to you. You may choose to go with someone who a friend recommends or someone who has an office close to your home or you may choose to go with a New York City psychotherapist that offers an experience that is outside of the box.

When choosing the best psychotherapist in New York City, make sure you always check the credentials and licensing. Psychotherapists can be trained psychiatrists, registered nurses, clinical social workers, marriage therapists, family therapists or psychiatric nurses, but, without the government state license, these occupational titles do not matter.

Consider choosing a psychotherapist that focuses on your area of suffering. For many of us this is not something we can actually pinpoint, but if you know your troubles stem from anxiety, depression, divorce, career or addiction problems, then finding a trained professional in these fields will help you out.

Finally, the best NYC psychotherapist for you is the one that you connect with. You will need to feel a sense of complete openness and trust when it comes to your therapy session.

Although you may feel like holding back for the first little while, each session you should slowly be able to shed those problems off your back. If you are still not sure about taking the plunge and seeing a psychotherapist about your problems, then there are other options to letting go of what’s troubling you. A good chatting session with someone you love can help you talk through your troubles. Make a pot of coffee and invite over your best friend. If this isn’t an option, taking a walk around the city will also clear up your perspective. There is nothing more liberating than breathing in that cool fresh air and enjoying the fall breeze.

However if you are looking for more than just your average coffee and gab session, if you want that level of confidence that friendship chats simply can’t provide and if you need some professional advice, a trained mental health professional is one that can help you open up.

When you leave a psychotherapy session you should feel a sense of relief and refreshment; you should not feel more confused or more closed off from the world. Finding this sense of relief and sense of freedom is not something that will happen overnight; however, slowly and surely, these issues will peal away
and reveal a happier and healthier you.

Monday, October 12th, 2009

Beyond Blue: Combating Depression in New York

New York City is the city that never sleeps. There is literally a bright light of activities everywhere you go. From visiting museums and bistros during the day to attending Broadway plays and nightclubs after dark, New York City shines no matter what. However, for those who are battling depression, New York can seem like a dark hole. You may not be able to see the beauty, the nature, the culture and the entertainment that lives and breathes around every corner; you may instead be swept up in a sea of sadness.

We all feel down once in a while. However, there is a big difference between having the blues and suffering from depression. Sometimes it can be hard to determine if your sadness is a cause for concern. It’s important to understand the difference between having a bad day and being depressed. A bad day can occur out of nowhere and leave you feeling emotionally drained. A rude comment at work, a fight with your spouse or a big credit card bill can all lead to feelings of sadness, exhaustion, failure and anger. It is when you cannot control these emotions and they start to take over your life that you may be suffering from depression. Depression can take on many forms which is why it can be so hard to self diagnose. While some who are dealing with depression in New York revert to their own little world, ignoring friends and colleagues and shutting the gate to society, others who suffer from depression may seem completely normal on the inside but turn into a wreck behind closed doors. There is no ‘right’ way to be depressed. You may feel withdrawn, useless, helpless, hopeless, lonely, anxious, nervous, tired, guilty or angry. You may feel the need to sleep 12 hours a day, or not sleep at all; you may lose your appetite, or have trouble controlling your eating habits; you may become a community recluse or an overly social party animal. Because of the multitude of confusion behind depression, there is really no way one way to prevent or cure this disorder.

The first thing you need to do when it comes to overcoming depression in New York City or elsewhere is to confide in a professional. Depression is not something that anyone should suffer through alone and, although there is no magic pill to eliminate depression, there are proven methods to treat and understand this serious disorder. Besides seeing a professional New York psychologist, therapist or other mental health professional you can also make some minor adjustments in your life to elevate your mood and work towards a happier tomorrow.

Gain a New Perspective: looking for a great way to combat those blues and rejuvenate your body? Try taking a hike. New York is filled with great outdoor hikes the Hudson Highlands and the Black Mountain Loop. Trekking up a hill can elevate your senses, your mood and your overall well being. Furthermore, a view from the top may give you a different perspective on your life.

Enjoy the Sunlight: sufferers of depression in New York City will often lock themselves inside. Rejecting society will not only cause you to sink even lower, but it can also limit your intake of sunlight, an important source of vitamin D and a proven alleviator of the blues. Resist the urge to stay behind closed doors all week. Walk instead of hiding on the subway; spend your lunch break outdoors; and soak up that warm glow.

Write it Out: sometimes it can help to write down your thoughts. You do not have to start a daily diary but using a journal to speak your mind can often help you relax and unload. If you are feeling down, try typing your thoughts out and see where it gets you. Many people swear that writing down their fears and concerns actually leads to a solution. Although this may not be the case when suffering from clinical depression, writing down your thoughts can relieve some of that anxiety and tension that is bringing you down.

Stay away from the Negatives: there are so many positive things about life in New York; however, there are also many negative influences surrounding our lives and this negativity can be contagious. Certain people, certain activities and certain events may trigger disappointment, fear, frustration, guilt, anxiety and negativity. Try to identify these things and then avoid them if possible. Look to positive people to be around and happy places to spend your time. After all, positive thoughts lead to positive results. Getting rid of the negatives in your life will help detoxify your body and lead to a more positive outlook.

Depression in New York is a leading concern for many people. Unfortunately, there is no black and white line when it comes to depression. In fact, depression comes in many shades of grey which is why it is so important to accept the help you need. New Yorkers have enough to worry about without depression bringing them down as well. If you believe you are suffering beyond the blues, then look for support from a trained professional. Shedding some light on depression in New York will lead to a brighter understanding of this dark disorder.

Monday, October 12th, 2009

No Worries in the Big Apple: How to Handle New York Anxiety

New York City is considered one of the busiest cities in the nation. In fact, New York is a worldwide epicentre when it comes to business, tourism and culture. New Yorkers know how the stress of work, home, school and relationships can add up in a New York minute. Job concerns, financial hardship, family troubles and marital issues can all leave you feeling completely drained and out of control. And the result of this build up of problems can often be anxiety. However, is there any way to combat against this New York anxiety apart from locking the doors, closing the shutters and removing yourself from the busy streets of society? Although a mini vacation away from the hustle and bustle of the city can often help with this stress, it is not the solution if you are suffering from chronic anxiety. Instead of running away from your worries, you need to confront them head on.

Anxiety in New York is not something that should be taken lightly. Many people who suffer from anxiety have trouble relaxing and adapting to their surroundings. Anxiety is a crippling feeling that can lead to tension, discomfort and fear. Often those who suffer from anxiety do not even know what they are worried about- they simply cannot stop. In a city that never sleeps, like New York, this constant worrying can lead to problems in the office, in the social environment and in their home. Furthermore, an anxiety disorder can lead to other psychological problems including depression and insomnia.

One of the best ways to get a grip on anxiety in New York City is to see a psychologist, therapist or other mental health professional. There are several treatment plans available including counseling and medication that will not only help you get past this anxiety, but also help you to understand it. Apart from seeing a psychologist or therapist about your anxiety issues, here are four other tips to dealing with anxiety in New York.

  1. Find your Relaxation Therapy – many people who suffer from anxiety will turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to alleviate these worries and temporarily block out the fear. This is not your best bet as the effects are temporary and can be harmful to your body. Instead, look for relaxation methods that go past the surface and into the mind. Deep breathing and yoga are two great methods of relaxation. Not ready to meditate? Finding an extra 30 minute a day to take a bath; cleansing your mind, body and soul can help with anxiety in New York.
  2. Walk away your Worries – New York is filled with people coming and going, speed walking to the subway, sprinting for a taxi and pushing their way to the sales on Fifth Avenue. However, when you stop trying to get somewhere and simply walk for the simple pleasure of walking, time can slow down and your worries can melt away. Walking and other moderate exercise is a great way to be alone with your thoughts while releasing endorphins and uplifting your mood. Hiking, bike riding and swimming are other great ways to enjoy the New York nature while relieving the tension built up inside.
  3. Find the Time for Friends – although many people who suffer from anxiety do so in silence, it can be beneficial to speak your mind when it comes to your worries. Talking to a family member or friend can be a great anxiety-reliever. Furthermore, they may be able to offer advice or provide anecdotes that can help you with your problems. If meeting for a social drink at a crowded New York restaurant is not your thing, then enjoy a cup of coffee at a more quiet setting or in the comfort of your own home.
  4. Live in Moderation – you may not even realize it, but your current lifestyle might be giving you anxiety. If you are lacking the proper dietary needs, sleep and exercise, then your body may be rebelling by causing you to stress out. Make sure you eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains and aim for seven hours of sleep a night. Furthermore, 30 minutes of exercise three times a week can spark new life from within. Anything in excess can also trigger anxiety among other disorders. The major culprits include caffeine, alcohol and fatty foods. Although you do not need to eliminate these completely from your lifestyle, make sure you consume in moderation. It can be hard to determine whether your worrying is warranted or if it is a sign of a serious anxiety disorder. If your anxiety is constantly causing problems at home or at work and negatively impacting your life then it is best to see a professional therapist who can help you recognize your cause for concerns and work towards a solution.
Monday, June 29th, 2009

Rain, Rain – Go Away!

Like most New Yorkers, I think I have had enough rain in the past month to last for the rest of the year. So far, in the entire month of June, we’ve only had 3 days without rain. And if you go back further, there have been only a handful of dry days in the last 3 months. And cold! Average temperatures for the area are far below normal.
Wet. Cold. Gray. A perfect formula for depression.

The local weather looks like it was designed for one of those commercials for an anti-depressant medication. (Ever notice how the weather improves in those commercials, right after they introduce the product?)

There is a great amount of research out there about the connection between mood and weather and I definitely see it in my practice. Since my clients and I are always out in the weather, it is typically the first topic of any therapy session.

Since it looks like there may be no end in sight – I thought it might be helpful to pass along some tips for combating those bad weather blues.

1. Find the beauty in it. If there were no cloudy days – we would never appreciate the sun. Take a moment and really absorb the beauty of rain and the awesomeness of storms. They can be quite breath taking!
2. Focus on the positive and surround yourself with positive people. Enough already with the complainers and negative talk about the weather. Focusing on the clouds just make them worse and allows depression to feed on itself.
3. Turn on the lights. Now, I may be the ‘greenest’ therapist in the world (no office, no electricity, etc) and I really believe in being eco-friendly. But, Edison invented the light bulb for a reason! Use it. Blasting the lights a few hours to combat those blues won’t sink the planet, and it might just give you a pick me up.
4. Get out there! You wont melt – get outside and move around. If you know anything about me – I’m a big proponent for moving your body and using that mind / body connection.
5. Finally, realize that there is a strong connection between the gray weather and your bad mood. That realization can be powerful. It tells you that there is a reason for your lethargy and grumpiness. And it tells you that it is temporary. Don’t be a victim to the weather. Make a conscious choice to focus on the positive and improve your mood.

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